Cant live with them, Cant live without them.....
It's 7.00pm. Everyones finished work, picked up their girlfriends / wives, and gravitated towards the peepul tree of the modern age - Coffee Day. There's a hookah being passed around, and various versions of coffee doing the rounds. The setting is relaxed and peaceful, everyone is smiling.
Then we start discussing the purpose of men and the rational of women. Soon its girlfriends and wives on one side and boyfriends and husbands on the other.... it went the way of all such battles, and anyone who has ever tried to reason with a woman will know which way I mean.
Some excerpts from this two hour discussion:
"Nothing"
M: So when a guy does something wrong, how do we know what it is if you wont tell us?
W: We know you know you did something wrong. We also know you have no clue what it is. We arent going to tell you because its the principle of the thing. You SHOULD HAVE known what it was.
M: But we ask you whats wrong and you say "nothing". Then if we go about behaving like nothing's wrong, you get even more mad.
W: Yep. youre not supposed to give up at "nothing". We want you to work at it a little before we tell you what you did wrong.
M: But if we keep on aking you, you get really pissed off.
W: Yep. Youre not supposed to keep asking every two minutes.
M(very perplexed) OK, so heres the situation. We did something wrong.We have no clue what it is. We ask, you say nothing. You've stopped talking to us. So we ask again. You say "If you dont even know what you did, I'm not going to tell you". So then we decide to make up and we clean the house, pick up the clothes, wash the bathroom...because it could be any of these things right? By then we're really confused and completely out of ideas, so we do the only thing that comes naturally to us. We get 'romantic' and hope that works. BUT thats the biggest backfire of all. "You have no idea what you did, you're not even bothered and now you want sex?"
W: (a lot of laughter)
M: So then at the end of it all we just think, "its not worth the hassel" and wait for your mood to blow over. Then you think we're insensitive.
W: Well, theres a certain amount of time we want to be left alone when we're angry. But it depends on the situtation and how bad a mood it is. We want you to guage that and then make the approach about 'what you did'. We will cave in eventually, because we already know you never have an idea what youve done.
M: So now, if you want to wear a particular outfit and cant find the right earrings and have to change it all, which is the cause of your bad mood, it affects your whole evening and you take it out on us. Now when we ask you whats wrong, you'll say "nothing". And we will go about the whole evening trying to think about what it was we had possibly done this time........
"It's just a pair of pants"
M: So when you want to wear this particular outfit and have been waiting to wear it all week and then you cant find it, you get really bugged and it ruins your evening. It's just a pair of pants!
W: (All in unison) IT'S NOT JUST A PAIR OF PANTS! Its something we'd been planning and its the reflection of our whole mood. we wanted to look a certain way for certain reasons and now that we cant, it just screws up things. So NEVER tell a woman "theyre just clothes" or "just wear something else".
M: So if you feel that way about clothes, how come if someone scratches the car, you say "It's just a scratch". IT'S NOT JUST A SCRATCH!
W: But you see, the difference is in the intention of these expressions. When we tell you "its just a scratch", we want to make you feel better by undermining the problem and making you feel it can be fixed. When you tell us "theyre just clothes" youre thinking about why the heck would we be so bothered by such trivial things.
Girlfriends
M: So why is it that every girl has to tell at least one of her girlfriends EVERYTHING? even stuff about her boyfriend? We never do that!
W: Well... you should! You need to have an unbiased opinion about some things and someone who is not emotionally involved can give you that. Most often our girlfriends just tell us the same things we already know.
M: So why is it that if we were to tell you something you never listen, but if it comes from one of your girlfriends, it is immediately taken into account?
W: Hey, that works both ways.... guys do it too!
Memory Space
M: Why do women remember bad stuff about fights and bring it up again two years later? And they expect us to remember these things too!! We cant do that!
W: Well, women just have better memories, deal with it.
The Conclusion
Men will not remember things they have done. They will not know the right things to say. They will pause before saying you look nice. They will leave the room a mess and the bathroom seat down.
Women will get pissed off and refuse to tell you why. They will let their moods be affected by their clothes. They will talk to girlfriends and they will remember everything you have ever said and done.
Men will be men and women will be women. You can't live with them, and you can't live without them!
My take: I like to think that im a feminist. Not hard core, but one who believes in equality of both sexes. There's a reason why men think they way they do and women think they way they do. There's also no chance of an overlap in the way their minds work, because they are like twopieces of a jigsaw puzzle.... absolutely not the same shape, but fitting into each other. I guess the problems arise from the fact that we each expect the other sex to think the same way we do, and then when they dont, we are dissappointed and hurt, or cause dissappointment and hurt. We just need to realise the fundamental difference and then adapt accordingly to each other's expectations. The topic of men vs women will be fodder for many more discussions, will sell many more books, will make for research topics and will still remain unsettled for all eternity. We both accept though, that we cannot live without each other, so thats a good enough reason to live with each other!
Then we start discussing the purpose of men and the rational of women. Soon its girlfriends and wives on one side and boyfriends and husbands on the other.... it went the way of all such battles, and anyone who has ever tried to reason with a woman will know which way I mean.
Some excerpts from this two hour discussion:
"Nothing"
M: So when a guy does something wrong, how do we know what it is if you wont tell us?
W: We know you know you did something wrong. We also know you have no clue what it is. We arent going to tell you because its the principle of the thing. You SHOULD HAVE known what it was.
M: But we ask you whats wrong and you say "nothing". Then if we go about behaving like nothing's wrong, you get even more mad.
W: Yep. youre not supposed to give up at "nothing". We want you to work at it a little before we tell you what you did wrong.
M: But if we keep on aking you, you get really pissed off.
W: Yep. Youre not supposed to keep asking every two minutes.
M(very perplexed) OK, so heres the situation. We did something wrong.We have no clue what it is. We ask, you say nothing. You've stopped talking to us. So we ask again. You say "If you dont even know what you did, I'm not going to tell you". So then we decide to make up and we clean the house, pick up the clothes, wash the bathroom...because it could be any of these things right? By then we're really confused and completely out of ideas, so we do the only thing that comes naturally to us. We get 'romantic' and hope that works. BUT thats the biggest backfire of all. "You have no idea what you did, you're not even bothered and now you want sex?"
W: (a lot of laughter)
M: So then at the end of it all we just think, "its not worth the hassel" and wait for your mood to blow over. Then you think we're insensitive.
W: Well, theres a certain amount of time we want to be left alone when we're angry. But it depends on the situtation and how bad a mood it is. We want you to guage that and then make the approach about 'what you did'. We will cave in eventually, because we already know you never have an idea what youve done.
M: So now, if you want to wear a particular outfit and cant find the right earrings and have to change it all, which is the cause of your bad mood, it affects your whole evening and you take it out on us. Now when we ask you whats wrong, you'll say "nothing". And we will go about the whole evening trying to think about what it was we had possibly done this time........
"It's just a pair of pants"
M: So when you want to wear this particular outfit and have been waiting to wear it all week and then you cant find it, you get really bugged and it ruins your evening. It's just a pair of pants!
W: (All in unison) IT'S NOT JUST A PAIR OF PANTS! Its something we'd been planning and its the reflection of our whole mood. we wanted to look a certain way for certain reasons and now that we cant, it just screws up things. So NEVER tell a woman "theyre just clothes" or "just wear something else".
M: So if you feel that way about clothes, how come if someone scratches the car, you say "It's just a scratch". IT'S NOT JUST A SCRATCH!
W: But you see, the difference is in the intention of these expressions. When we tell you "its just a scratch", we want to make you feel better by undermining the problem and making you feel it can be fixed. When you tell us "theyre just clothes" youre thinking about why the heck would we be so bothered by such trivial things.
Girlfriends
M: So why is it that every girl has to tell at least one of her girlfriends EVERYTHING? even stuff about her boyfriend? We never do that!
W: Well... you should! You need to have an unbiased opinion about some things and someone who is not emotionally involved can give you that. Most often our girlfriends just tell us the same things we already know.
M: So why is it that if we were to tell you something you never listen, but if it comes from one of your girlfriends, it is immediately taken into account?
W: Hey, that works both ways.... guys do it too!
Memory Space
M: Why do women remember bad stuff about fights and bring it up again two years later? And they expect us to remember these things too!! We cant do that!
W: Well, women just have better memories, deal with it.
The Conclusion
Men will not remember things they have done. They will not know the right things to say. They will pause before saying you look nice. They will leave the room a mess and the bathroom seat down.
Women will get pissed off and refuse to tell you why. They will let their moods be affected by their clothes. They will talk to girlfriends and they will remember everything you have ever said and done.
Men will be men and women will be women. You can't live with them, and you can't live without them!
My take: I like to think that im a feminist. Not hard core, but one who believes in equality of both sexes. There's a reason why men think they way they do and women think they way they do. There's also no chance of an overlap in the way their minds work, because they are like twopieces of a jigsaw puzzle.... absolutely not the same shape, but fitting into each other. I guess the problems arise from the fact that we each expect the other sex to think the same way we do, and then when they dont, we are dissappointed and hurt, or cause dissappointment and hurt. We just need to realise the fundamental difference and then adapt accordingly to each other's expectations. The topic of men vs women will be fodder for many more discussions, will sell many more books, will make for research topics and will still remain unsettled for all eternity. We both accept though, that we cannot live without each other, so thats a good enough reason to live with each other!
posted by misanthrope | 3:32 AM
1 Comments:
checkin....
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